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Learn the Malay Wedding Process with Reka Teemor!

March 6, 2024

From Merisik to Bersanding: Learn the Malay Wedding (perkahwinan) Process with Reka Teemor!

Embarking on the journey of marriage within the Malay culture is a rich tapestry woven with traditions and rituals. Understanding the intricate steps of a traditional Malay wedding can be daunting for many couples. Fortunately, Reka Teemor, a renowned wedding planner with years of experience orchestrating lavish Malay weddings, offers an insightful lesson titled “Memahami Proses Majlis Perkahwinan” (Understanding the Wedding Process) on diri.my as part of their course “How to Plan Your Dream Wedding” . This lesson is designed to demystify the traditional Malay wedding process, by providing couples with the knowledge and confidence to celebrate their love while honouring their heritage.

Navigating the Malay Wedding Journey with Reka Teemor‘s Guidance:

  1. Merisik (Inquiry): This preliminary step involves the groom’s family visiting the bride’s family to inquire about her marital status. It is a respectful tradition that signifies the beginning of the wedding journey, sometimes celebrated with a small gift exchange to symbolise serious intentions.
  2. Meminang (Proposal): Following a successful merisik, the proposal or meminang occurs. It is a formal request for marriage, often accompanied by a discussion of the dowry (mas kahwin) and the exchange of gifts (dulang hantaran), setting a concrete path towards marriage.
  3. Pertunangan (Engagement): The engagement ceremony marks the official commitment between the couple. It’s an occasion for the exchange of rings and further dulang hantaran, setting expectations and responsibilities. This period also allows for in-depth wedding planning and preparation.
  4. Kursus Kahwin (Pre-marriage Course): A mandatory pre-marriage course that educates couples on the Islamic perspectives of marriage, covering rights, responsibilities, and the keys to a successful union. This step is crucial for ensuring both partners are fully prepared for marriage.
  5. Akad Nikah (Solemnization): The solemnisation ceremony is the core of the Malay wedding. It includes the official marriage vows, the exchange of mas kahwin, and is conducted by a religious official. This spiritual ceremony legally binds the couple as husband and wife.
  6. Bersanding (Wedding Reception): A lavish celebration that publicly commemorates the union. This event typically includes a feast, music, and communal prayers. It is an opportunity for the newlyweds to receive blessings and well-wishes from their community.
  7. Berinai (Henna Night): A beautification ceremony where the bride applies henna to symbolise beauty and fertility. It is divided into Berinai Kecil, a private affair, and Berinai Besar, a more public celebration involving the groom.

Akad Nikah

Image credit: ppsignature.com

Adapting Traditions to Fit Modern Constraints

Reka Teemor emphasises the importance of adaptability within the wedding planning process. Recognising that budgets can be limiting, they suggest that couples might choose to forego certain traditional steps. If financial constraints are a concern, steps such as merisik or bertunang can be foregone. The focus should be on the essential akad nikah while ensuring the celebration reflects the couple’s values and means.

Showing Appreciation

An often overlooked but vital part of the wedding process is showing appreciation for those who help make the wedding a reality. It could be through thoughtful gifts, acknowledgments during the ceremony, or even a post-wedding thank you gathering. It is vital to recognise the efforts of friends, family, and vendors is crucial for fostering goodwill and gratitude. 

For those eager to delve deeper into the nuances of Malay weddings and navigate their planning with grace and cultural reverence, Reka Teemor’s course on diri.my provides an invaluable resource. By enrolling in “How to Plan Your Dream Wedding“, couples gain access to expert advice and comprehensive planning tools designed to honour traditional Malay matrimonial customs in a way that’s both meaningful and manageable.